Anytime I hear one of my mom friends mention that their husband is “babysitting” the kids while she’s out and about, a piece of my soul dies. Let’s be real, they’re his kids too! He is not babysitting. He’s 50% of the parenting duo just doing what needs to be done in order to be a healthy part of a coparenting team while one person is away. Moms do it all the time!
So, when a mom goes away on a vacation, leaves on a work trip, or has some much needed time off, she should be able to trust that her husband will have everything covered. A present, active husband and dad will know their kid’s schedules, take care of the house, and allow mom to rest easy knowing that her house and kids are in the best hands.
One video on TikTok is currently going viral for the exact opposite of what every mom wishes their return home after a relaxing weekend would be — total and utter chaos.
TikTok user Kian posted a video with now over 3.4 million views, showing her house completely wrecked after she was gone for 11 days on vacation.
The video shows her opening her door to a disgusting, cluttered mess of chaos — piles of clothes, toys, and trash cover every surface.
While she seems to take it all in stride (silly music playing in the background and the caption: “At least he kept the kids alive 🤷🏻♀️”), the rest of the internet didn’t feel so inclined to give this dude a pass.
Her TikTok video was flooded with comments, noting that while the OP might see this as something funny, it’s actually not funny or cute or endearing — at all.
“This is not cute. This is not weaponized incompetence. This is him making her pay for taking some time for herself,” one user wrote.
Another said, “My vacation would suddenly be extended until this was all cleaned.”
“I’m sorry. What? Seems like he was punishing you for leaving,” one user noted.
One user begged, “Please tell me you didn’t clean that up.”
“I would honestly start tweaking out. If he left for an 11 day vacation the house would be nearly ✨spotless✨ upon his arrival home 🙄🙄🙄🙄,” one TikTok user chimed in.
Some women stitched the video on TikTok, giving their deeper takes on this seemingly innocent video, tackling the much bigger issue at hand when videos like this go viral.
TikTok creator @itsme_abbye gave her take on the viral clip, sharing that this kind of reception after coming home from a weekend away is the exact reason why moms have so many complex emotions taking time away from typical “mom duties.”
“How would you feel coming home to that? If you went on a vacation of any length of time and you came home to something like that. Now with someone who struggles when my husband is gone to keep things clean and tidy, um, he would never come home to something like that,” she said before asking some rhetorical questions for any mom who could find herself in this very scenario.
“What would you do if you came home to this,” she asks. “How would you feel your partner views you? Do you feel like you now have to clean this up? Would you feel like you’re being punished for going on a vacation, and now you’re coming home, and this is what you have to deal with? Would that feel like punishment to you? That feel like blatant disrespect to you? Would you ever feel confident in leaving your children with your partner moving forward for any amount of time?”
“I think this is a prime example of why so many women aren’t able to enjoy time away from their families,” she concludes.
Another TikTok creator, Jordan The Grey Witch, chimed in with her thoughts on the disastrous house.
“I do not know this person, their relationship, nor am I passing any judgment on her or her family. But that, to me, is weaponized incompetence incarnate,” she begins.
“She was gone for 11 days and returned to her home in that condition because the father was alone with her children without her help. And people wonder why women would rather be alone when all of the data shows that women who are single later in life live happier, healthier, longer lives. I can’t imagine why.”
Commenters echoed her sentiment on the post, with many concluding that the state of the home goes far beyond weaponized incompetence and teeters into retaliation or revenge from a husband who was annoyed and resentful that his wife went away for a few days.
One user wrote, “That’s way beyond weaponized incompetence, that’s brutal disrespect.”
Another said, “Retaliation in the worst way possible under the guise of weaponized incompetence.”
“This is just straight up punishing her for leaving not weaponized incompetence. The way I’d divorce so quickly,” one user wrote.
Regardless of if this was a true act of hurtful retaliation on a wife who got some time away, or if this was truly a dad doing his best (yikes), I hope this woman turned right back around, texted her husband that she’d be back when the mess was clean, and treated herself to one more night away.