When planning a family, parents usually have an idea of how many children they want to have. However, as reality sets in, there might be some second-guessing or questioning about the “right” number of kids to have based on one’s financial situation, mental health, or a million other extenuating factors.
One dad of two crowd-sourced his dilemma, asking his X (formally Twitter) followers if he and his wife should try for a third kid.
“Parents of Twitter…stop at 2 kids or go for 3? We have 2 beautiful healthy kids now. I’m told statistically parents with 2 are happier than those with 3, but I feel like when I’m 60 I’d be glad I had a 3rd. Could be swayed either way,” Rob LaBonne wrote.
After his post gained traction, being viewed almost a million times on X, thousands of parents replied to LaBonne with their opinions.
“Dad with 3 here — I don’t regret it and we originally wanted only 2. Life is more interesting with that 3rd one in the mix. My middle and youngest are 2 yrs apart. My oldest is 4 yrs older than the middle so I’m glad my middle has someone still closer to his age to goof around with,” one dad replied.
Another dad wrote, “Third was a material step change in difficulty for us in the early years, but easy now that they’re grown. It was a tossup for us if we wanted a third or not, but we’re glad we did.”
“3, then more. With 2 kids, you’re already doing all the work you’re going to do as a parent. That’s hard to explain or believe, maybe, but 3 onwards is not more work and then it’s less as the older kids start being useful for family help,” another echoed.
One very smart Twitter user wrote, “Ask your wife.”
“Do you know how to play Zone Defense? This is very important to my answer,” another joked.
One user noted that the fact that LaBonne is even thinking about possibly having a third means that deep down, they want another.
“You’ll be happy either way, you’ll adapt. If you’re considering it, to me that’s a yes because if you weren’t, it would be a hard no,” they said.
A one-and-done parent said, “I have one. It allowed me to focus on his education. He’s been honor role his whole life. Now going into 8th grade.”
Interestingly enough, most of the comments on the thread were from fellow dads, insisting that more kids was the way to go. So when a mom chimed in on the viral conversation, the perspective changed a bit. Hm! Wonder why?!
A mom wrote, “We have two under 2 right now and I am TIRED. When I think about another… maybe in like 5 years when the baby is in kindergarten”
Another mom wrote, “You have 2 hands, after two kids you have to learn how to juggle. So to a certain extent supporting 3 is ‘just as easy’ as 4- (if it weren’t for ‘modern’ expenses, seats in cars, diapers, braces, college education, apartments) But think about quality time with each.”
On a larger scale, however, statistics show that 2 to 3 kids are the preferred family structure.
44 percent of parents surveyed in a 2023 Gallup poll say the ideal number is two children. 29 percent say it is three, 12% say four, 3% say one, and 2% each say zero, five, or six or more.
These findings, from aggregated Gallup polls in June and July 2023, translate to an average of 2.7 children considered ideal. So, what is the “right” answer? Every single family is different and each person should do what feels good for them.
